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The Sweetness of Marriage in Africa
By: Emeka
Esogbue
Getting married may be described as the happiest moment in the
life of anyone living being, though some may want to equate this
with the birth of the first babies of their life, or even believe
the birth of their first babies the height of their happiness in
life. However, marriage by far signals manhood and womanhood, and
responsibility and ability to manage one's affairs without
external influences, which may become minimal.
Usually, in Africa, the search for soul mates is never an easy
task considering that the economies of African countries are in
shambles and exertions of more efforts are necessary if one is to
legally marry. One's mate can be sourced from anyone but in my
own observation, no one deliberately goes into the street to look
for a wife or husband, though it may be argued that in the world
of today, we are inclined to electronically log on to dating
sites, browse for potential partners who may meet our targets.
With persistent chats and phone calls this candidate can
eventually become our life time partner.
This now
occurs against the once old time practice of Africans who
discreetly conducts traditional searches on future partners of
their wards and children, this is made possible by the communal
social belief that a child belongs to all as against the western
belief that child is his parents. Among the things looked out for
were the background of the both families, whether the family is
known to posses any life-threatening disease(s) like leprosy,
asthmas, whooping coughs, madness, etc. Families may also monitor
the life of their daughter/son-law to be with a view to
discovering her proper character which she may decide to
temporarily hide until after her marriage.
If you
find a man or woman of your choice, all you need do now is
introduce her him/her to your parents who further advise you to
take him/her to your uncles and aunties. The African society may
frown against your deliberate refusal or perhaps any mistake
which has seen you not introducing your future husband/wife to
your close relatives. This can spell doom for the marriage if not
well managed, our orientation in this part of the world is your
prior refusal to inform means you have decided not to carry me
along and have therefore considered my presence not
necessary.
A lot of benefits may accrue to anyone
who goes about it the right way, for instance, the society of the
Yoruba helpfully encourages relatives to make contributions
towards the successful hosting of marriages, in other words, a
marriage is considered a communal rite which requires the efforts
of all the members of the family. It is therefore not surprising
to see Yoruba families arriving marriage scenes with foods and
drinks in assistance of one of their own. This makes everyone
participate, a marriage of one man or woman becomes the affair of
all.
At the end of the marriage, the couple takes
a visit to the homes of almost everyone who was physically
present at the marriage scene known to him, expressing endless
gratitude for gracing the occasion because without them, it would
have been impossible to bring the marriage to a successful
hosting. Bear in mind again that your failure to fulfill this
condition may ostracize you from them, causing you to once again
seek people to appeal to them, a situation that may require you
bowing and prostrating all through the event.
This social norm continues with the birth of your babies when
again you are required to throw a bigger party "Iko-omo" a day
your child is named, again both families become of help, not only
assisting in preparing meals but also helping to make provisions
of things that are necessary. This day provides you with the knowledge of your family relatives hitherto unknown to you, as
you reminiscent on just how much money you have spent hosting
teeming number of guests whether invited or uninvited, you
suddenly notice guests coming to inform you that that it is time
to leave, you have no option than walk them to a particular
point, bidding them farewell, laughing and thinking just how you
can pay certain of these loans you have obtained from friends,
neighbours and maybe these particular set of relatives after all
you are married, and unexpected responsibilities are your
duties.
This is the sweetness of marriages in
Africa.
About the Author
Emeka Esogbue hails from Ibusa, Delta State, Nigeria. He is
a Historian and International Relations graduate and
Political/Public Affairs Analyst.
emekaesogbue@yahoo.com
(ArticlesBase SC #673199)
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/ - The Sweetness of Marriage in
Africa
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